+Horn broken. Watch for finger

+Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

+Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

+Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

+Rehab is for quitters.

+I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

+Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.

+Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

+No radio - Already stolen.

+Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

+Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.

+How can I miss you if you won't go away?

+Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

+Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

+There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

+Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

+Caution: I drive like you do.

+Jesus loves you.... Everyone else thinks you're an ass.

+Hang up and drive!

+Just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

+Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

+If You Drink, Don't Park; Accidents Cause People.

+My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

+If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

+If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.

+How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

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